I have this thing called a Shark Rocket...

I was going to type up this whole long thing about this guy that saved his dog from a shark... but I suddenly dont feel well.  DAMN YOU OFFICE PEOPLE AND YOUR COLDS!  

So anyway, here is a link to the original story. Shark vs. Terrier vs. Greg's Fist 

On another note, I recently read Peter Benchley's JAWS...  I liked the movie much better. I felt that Benchley spent too much time on some pointless character development, and not enough time on Great Whites eating people. I will say I like some of the end of the book better. Like Quints demise, and what happened to Hooper.  I wont spoil it, but im guessing that the movie version had Dreyfus testing well with audiences..  or something like that, so they changed the ending. Dont quote me on that though. 

In a quick look on the spelling of Benchley's last name, I discovered that he had actually passed away.

Here is a link to Wiki on him.  Enjoy.  

RIP Peter Bradford Benchley (May 8, 1940 -11 February 2006)  

These People Could Run Our Country.

I came across a great little write up of Katie Couric's interview with McCain and Palin from CBS Evening News. I am linking to the article below, and ill hit on some key points here that will hopefully make you think about how ridiculous these people are.  McCain just comes across as an angry old man to me, and Palin... jesus I don't know... 

Again, this is just quick. I could go into more detail, and prob. should... but I wont.

1.  Couric asked Palin about a statement she made regarding the US launching an offense on Pakistan to "stop the terrorists from coming any further in." .   She asked if Palin and McCain were on the same page on this, as McCain had said otherwise during Friday's debate.

Couric: "So, Gov. Palin are you two (she and McCain) on the same page?" 

Palin: "...We will do what we have to do to secure the United Sates and her allies," 

Couric: "Is that something you shouldn't say out loud, Sen. McCain?" 

McCain :"Of course not," . "But look, I understand this day and age gotcha journalism... Grab a phrase. Gov. Palin and I agree that you don't announce that you're going to attack another country."

Couric to Palin : "Are you sorry you said it?" 

McCain: "Wait a minute,"  "Before you say is she sorry she said it, this was a gotcha sound bite that...

Couric: "It wasn't a gotcha,"  "She was talking to a voter."

McCain: "No,she was in a conversation with a group of people talking back and forth, and I'll let Gov. Palin speak for herself."

Couric to Palin:  (what has she learned) "from that experience," the candidate replied, "That this is all about gotcha journalism...."

Ok, so lets break this down really quick.  Palin said something without thinking about it, just threw out some word vomit in the vein of what some people may want to hear to gain some support, and Couric is calling her out on it. It backfired.  McCain being the young hipster that he is, denounces Couric, and says that No, this is Gotcha Journalism (if you don't feel like following the link, think of it like leading a witness, or entrapment) which Couric, in my eyes, wasn't doing.  She was just reciting verbatim what Palin had said. Calling her out.

The Gotcha Journalism quip that McCain so quickly spouted really gives me a sour taste. I def. don't want to be voting for a person that is going to play games like that.  Palin fucking said what she said!  It wasn't made up, she said it!  Don't try to back track.  

I can see where he was going with it, but he was on the wrong page. 

2. "This is not the first time I've seen a governor being questioned by some quote expert," he said making quotation marks with his fingers. "I remember that Ronald Reagan was a cowboy. President Clinton was a governor of a very small state that had no experience either. I remember how easy it was going to be for Bush I to defeat him. I still recall, whoops, that one. But the point is that I've seen underestimation before. I'm very proud of the excitement that Gov. Palin has ignited with this party around this country."

 "This is not the first time I've seen a governor being questioned by some quote expert"   

I fucking hope not!  If we don't question our leaders, then we are just sheep.  Though.. I have to say we aren't that fucking far off.

" I'm very proud of the excitement that Gov. Palin has ignited with this party around this country.".....   

Yes John.  She has brought some excitement. And that statement you made proves to me that her addition to the ballot is purely a marketing ploy.  Taking advantage of the Hillary votes.

 Original Story 

Presidential Debate

I only watched a few mins of this tonight. My wife and I found a repeat of Americas Funniest Home Videos to be far more entertaining and informative of our current standing as a nation than most of what the candidates have to say.  Either way, however, we are fucked.             Awesome.

Wiener Bombs

The Philidelphia Bomb Squad had a busy afternoon blowing up some meat at Citizens Bank Park.  "Several" suspicious packages were discovered outside the park near one of the ticket offices and the stadium was temporarily evacuated (except for the players... go figure) while it was determined what the packages were.  They turned out to be hot dogs wrapped in foil and duct tape. 

"It was clear from when we looked at it at first glance and when you looked at the debris afterwards, there was packaging and duct tape; I don't see many hot dogs sold here with duct tape," Phillies VP of Operations Michael Stiles said. "We just did what we felt was appropriate." (original story/comment)

The bomb squad detonated the offending wieners as a precaution, and the Phillies got spanked for the second night in a row.. losing 10-4 to the Braves.

Dumb Boss: Episode III Christmas Wishes.

"I have attached a memorandum that ___ has written regarding the lasted Massachusetts Legislation (Massachusetts Act Protecting & Preserving Home Ownership). Per ___ this is required reading, no one is to leave the office today until they have read this or they may be terminated.

 Merry Christmas Everyone!"

You just cant fucking make this stuff up!  

If anyone reading catsattackyou.com has any great moments of stupidity like "Dumb Boss" they can pass along, I would love to post it on here!  Feel free to email me, or drop a line in the comments section under each post. Id love to hear from you!

I just threw up a little.... no... a lot..

Ok. Breast milk week here at catsattackyou. This is the 2nd BM story I have come across this week, and I'm only posting about it because a friend mentioned it as well, which proves its disgusting relevance.

Lets start with PETA . The world famous animal rights foundation has asked that Ben and Jerry's replace cow milk with human breast milk in their ice-cream products. The quick and dirty on this, is that they believe that they believe that there are legitimate health issues to take into consideration, for both the human and bovine players. They present a legitimate case, that no one will ever pay attention to. Though.. I am MORE than willing to bet... that this will turn into some really gross and disturbing fad. If this happens, I'm gonna be all soy all the time. Here is a link to an article and PETA's letter to Ben & Jerry's, PETA / Ben & Jerry's.

Also mentioned in both the letter and the article, is yet another bit of news on breast milk being used for adult human consumption.

Hans Locher, the owner of Storchen restaurant in Winterthur Switzerland has posted ads looking for donors who will be paid for their milk. "We have all been raised on it. Why should we not include it into our diet?" Link to article :

I see the points here...but yeah. Personally, I'm all set. Enjoy freaks!

Dumb Boss : Episode II

Another Gem from Captain Stupid.  I don't know if I'm legally allowed to post this, but all names and other info has been removdeded.

I have changed nothing else in this email... spelling and capitalization are as they were. Enjoy!

"please forward my message to all the attornets.

"The next attorney that fails to return a client's request within 24 hours will be terminated immediately. I do not care who it is. I am forced to resort to teeminating the employment of one of my attornets before I get terminated"

With regard to this issue, I want this updated asap and I want a complete explanation of what happened. I have asked and begged for you guys to update the client. If you are not goong to do it I will find someome who will."

Palin Babies

Another email Forwarded from a friend. Sorry for the lack of posts lately! Ill try to make up for it over the next few weeks.

Dear Friends:

We may have thought we wanted a woman on a national political ticket,
but the joke has really been on us, hasn't it?  Are you as sick in
your stomach as I am at the thought of Sarah Palin as Vice President
of the United States?

Since Palin gave her speech accepting the Republican nomination for
the Vice Presidency, Barack Obama's campaign has raised over $10
million dollars.  Some of you may already be supporting the Obama
campaign financially; others of you may still be a little over the
primaries.  None of you, however, can be happy with Palin's selection,
especially on her positions on women's issues.  So, if you feel you
can't support the Obama campaign financially, may I suggest the
following fiendishly brilliant alternative?

Make a donation to Planned Parenthood.  In Sarah Palin's name. And
here's the good part:  when you make a donation to PP in her name,
they'll send her a card telling her that the donation has been made in
her honor.  Here's the link to the Planned Parenthood website:

http://www.plannededparenthood.org


You'll need to fill in the address to let PP know where to send the
'in Sarah Palin's honor' card.  I suggest you use the address for the
McCain campaign headquarters, which is:

McCain for President
1235 S. Clark Street
1st Floor
Arlington, VA 22202

Feel free to send this along to all your women friends and urge them
to do the same.

Note: if you want to send it to Sarah Palin % Republican National
Committee the address is 310 First St. SE, Washington, DC 20003

Dumb Boss

Please read the very important memo from a friend of mine's previous employer. 

Note that this person runs a Law Practice...  

1st Email

"I am working on a number of improtant matter this morning inclunding an office memo. Please hold all calls and questions unless it is an emergency."

2nd Email

"It was suppose to say "important matters" and "including". It early."

He should have just written something like...

 "You no bother! I do important work things all by self.  QUIET TIME NOW!"